About time i started blogging again……

It has been over a year and a half since I last posted on this blog, and I find myself back in Brisbane on holiday, and of course, I have found myself thinking a lot about the last year and a half.

I wish I could say that I spent the last 18 months NOT repeating any of the same mistakes, but sadly, I cannot. I want to get my thoughts out, more for myself than for anyone reading, but if I can help someone in the process, then at least it was not all for nothing.

While I was in Brisbane previously, I found out that Mr Mean is also a Child Sex Abuser. I did not know this when I married him, and how I found out is not important, but the fact is, I was living with an even bigger monster than I ever imagined. I went through a couple of very difficult months after my return, and then he was eventually deported back to England. I informed the Department of Immigration about what I knew, withdrew my sponsorship so that he could not get a permanent visa to stay in Australia, and off he went. I have not spoken to him since.

I rented out a room in my house, which helped with the finances, and started a job working from home. I did not get councelling, I did not go and see my doctor, I just figured he was gone, and that was that…time to move on. Biggest mistake of my life.

I started living a very secluded, isolated life, since he had chased just about all of my friends away with his outbusts every time someone came to visit. He HATED me having any sort of interests or life away from him, so any time I did anything as my own person, he would sabotage it. Needless to say, a lot of friends chose to avoid the drama, and I do not blame them for one second.

I lived that way for at least 6 months, thinking I was ok. Boy was I ever wrong……….


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