Now to move on……

He is still in the house, which makes things difficult to say the least.  

I had been really patient, and even kind to a point, but the other night I lost the plot completely. He had registered on a dating site, which was fine by me- the sooner he starts getting out of the house, the sooner he is out of my hair. He asked me if he could use my credit card to register, as he needed to register to contact people. It was $25,  which  thought was a small price for some peace. Anyway, he used the card, and because he had used it, I was unable to place an order I needed to place, but even that was ok. But THEN, he came in and told me he had registered, started chatting to one girl, realised he had nothing to offer her, so deleted his account. 

I just lost the plot. He has wasted so much money, lost things, broken things, racked up bills…and this was the last straw. I screamed, I ranted like a banshee to the point where I thought if i had had a weapon in my hand I might have done him a serious injury. It was horrible, and made me realise that NO amount of money in the world is worth my mental health (what’s left of it!).

Anyway, he ended up almost hitting me, calling me the foulest names ever, told me I have not done anything for him and he doesn’t owe me anything, threatening suicide and then lay on the floor sobbing like a baby. I looked at him lying there and realised its at THAT point that I always take him back, but not this time. I felt absolutely not one bit of wifely love for him, it was so odd. 

So the next day he went to see the doctor, who sent him to hospital for a psych analysis. Turns out he is depressed…well DUH! Anyway, that night he went out to get something to eat and stayed out all night. In my car. I had the police around at 3am looking for a suicide note, it was horrible! And in he waltzed the next morning at around 8am, after supposedly spending the night at an old co-worker’s place. He said he thought I would be happy that he had a friend.  Didn’t understand why I was so upset.

I have accepted that the money is gone, and now I just want him out of  the house and my life.  I spoke to my Mom about it the other night as well and my family have given me their blessing to move on, whch I really needed because the thought of another divorce is not something you like to brag about really, no matter who is at fault.

I have put adverts out for the room to rent, and I plan to have two people staying here. I am really looking forward to, it will be a HUGE change in my life but I am ready for some FUN! But in the meantime he says he is moving out this weekend.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda
    Dec 14, 2008 @ 23:11:14

    I am so glad to hear that things have turned out so well. Believe in yourself, you have always had such an amazing outlook on life and such a fun person – hopefully you can become that person again in time. He obviously has major problems and was bringing you down to his level, remember the old song “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again!”
    You are young and beautiful enough in spirit to do this, you have friends and family who have your best interests at heart and will care for you when you feel down, because you will now and then, but let them help.
    Hugs honey, and have a wonderful Christmas and come back from your holiday refreshed and prepared to go on LIVING LIFE TO THE FULL!
    BTW you are not leaving him in the house alone when you go are you? I would hate to think he would sell any of your possessions while you were gone?
    Take care
    Linda

    Reply

  2. VAL
    Dec 22, 2008 @ 10:09:16

    OMG Roz – this is amazing. I wish I had your courage. I wish you everything of the best. You surely do deserve it. Have a wonderful Christmas and New year and i hope that 2009 will be the best year ever. Love
    Val

    Reply

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